The Trouble With Terry

By Jack & Gretchen Hall

www.sundayschooldropouts.com

CHARACTERS

Don, Mary, Jack- Conservative Christians

Terry- A Christian Democrat

Mary waits at center. Don enters with some grocery bags.

DON- Mary!

MARY- Hey, Don! I was wondering where you were.

DON- Oh, I wouldn't miss this for anything. Just stopped off to pick up a few more groceries.

MARY- More? We already have so much.

DON- Hey, the folks at the shelter don't have much. They can never have enough. Besides, when have you ever known me to be half-hearted about the Lord's work?

MARY- Very true.

Jack enters.

JACK- Van's all loaded up, kids.

MARY- Not quite. We have a few more bags to add.

DON- Just some extra goodies, and a few toys for the kids.

JACK- I should have known. Good thing we have a little room.

MARY- Great. Then all we need is Terry to show up.

DON- He's not here yet?

MARY- He's on the way.

JACK- Can't leave without Terry. He's the man with the contacts.

MARY- He practically lives at the shelter during the holidays.

DON- It's going to be so nice to share his joy this time around.

JACK- Terry's a special guy.

MARY- So giving, always displaying the love of Christ to others.

DON- A living witness that all of us can follow!

Terry enters. He is wearing a T-shirt that is either pro-Democratic party, or pro-a-well-known-DEMOCRATIC-candidate.

TERRY- Hey, guys. Are we ready?

Mary screams when she sees Terry's shirt. Don and Jack exchange a look of disbelief. Terry jumps at Mary's scream.

TERRY- Sorry, did I miss something? Did I say the secret word?

JACK- T-T-Terry...

TERRY- Yes?

JACK- What is with that... that... shirt?!?

MARY- That Democrat shirt!

DON- (laughs) You old joker. Guys, don't you see? This is Terry's Halloween costume.

MARY- It is?

DON- Sure. Terry's a Democrat! A big, scary, liberal Democrat!

MARY- Ohh, I get it. Haha, nothing scarier than a Democrat!

JACK- (joins the laughter) Better take that off before we get to the shelter, Terry. Don't want to scare the kiddies.

TERRY- What are you talking about? This isn't a costume.

The laughter stops.

JACK- Terry, joke's over, man. Lose the shirt.

TERRY- No.

JACK- Why not?

TERRY- I'm voting for these guys. In fact I was doing volunteer work for the campaign this morning.

DON- You mean you're a real Democrat??

TERRY- Yes.

MARY- No! That can't be! Christians can't be Democrats!

TERRY- Why not?

MARY- Because... they just can't!!

TERRY- Says who?

DON- Says everyone! Everyone knows that! Christians must vote Republican!

TERRY- Give me one good reason why!

MARY- Democrats kill babies! You're a baby killer!

TERRY- What??

DON- Democrats support abortion, don't they?

TERRY- They don't go around forcing people to have abortions.

JACK- But they have an agenda, man--

TERRY- (interrupts) They have an agenda I support, like taking care of the poor and the elderly. I think all of us here believe in that cause, or why else would we be headed to a homeless shelter?

DON- And how do they pay for those programs? By raising taxes!

JACK- Yeah! That kind of work is charity, and should stay with the charities!

TERRY- And if people gave enough money, I'd agree with you. But they don't. So what if I pay a little more in taxes? My brothers and sisters are in need, going hungry out there.

DON- Merciful heavens, listen to him! He's not just a Democrat! He's a socialist!!

TERRY- Don, please, I'm not a--

JACK- Don, this goes beyond ideology. It's clear to me that Terry is demon possessed!

TERRY- What?!?!?

MARY- Cast it out it him! Cast out the demons!

JACK- (laying hands on Terry) We command thee, in the name of the Lord, to come out of this man!

DON- You have to call the demon by its name!

MARY- Clinton! Clinton! That has to be his name!

JACK- Come out, Clinton! Come out in the name of Jesus!

Terry pushes them off.

TERRY- Will you guys get off me? I'm not demon possessed.

MARY- Oh yeah, like a demon-possessed man would admit it.

TERRY- I'm not demon-possessed, Mary. And I'm not a baby killer or a socialist. I'm just a Christian who prays and tries to make the best decisions I can when I vote.

JACK- Wow, that demon is in there tight.

DON- This kind can only come out by prayer. Alert the church prayer chain!

JACK- To the phone banks!

Don, Jack, and Mary run off.

TERRY- Hey, guys! What happened to us going to... (sighs, starts to pick up the bags) Guys? What about the shelter? Well, if anyone needs me... someone has to go feed the homeless. Guess that's what we evil Democrats do best.

Terry exits, sad and hurt.

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