CHARACTERS
Mort-
News Anchor
Angela- Field
Reporter
Glen-
Weatherman
News theme plays. Mort is
sitting at the news desk. The other reporters appear in spotlights stage
left and right.
MORT: Good evening,
and welcome to Sodom News Now. I'm Mort Gondor. In the news this
evening, police have arrested a man for allegedly having one one wife
and being monogamous. For more on that story, we go to field reporter
Angela Brady. Angela?
ANGELA: Mort, police
say that
Jim Calhoun, a banker who lives on the lower east side, has had
intimate relations with only one woman, his wife Diane, for the last
three years. What's more, police allege that Mort has kept his wife from
having any extramarital relations as well. Both charges are in clear
violation of the Free Love For All Act of 3032 BC. If convicted, Mort
and his wife will be separated and sent to half way houses of ill repute
for rehabilitation. Mort?
MORT: Thank you,
Angela. In other news, the city council voted unanimously to lower the
drinking age to four. Activists had hoped that the council would drop
the drinking age all the way down to two, but consider this a victory no
less. In sports, after a long investigation the Palestine Football
League has confirmed that Coach Bixby of the Gommorrah Gargoyles has
been secretly taping opponents practices for years. The Gommorrah
Gargoyles responded to the news by giving Bixby a three year contract
extension and a sixty percent raise. Now with the weather, here's Glen
Hasselmeyer.
GLEN: Thanks Mort.
Well another lovely day today in Sodom and Gommorrah with temperatures
in the low 70's this afternoon. Lots of folks taking advantage of the
good weather by going down to the park to do basically whatever they
wanted with one another, if you know what I mean. Had a nice time with
some high school kids myself. Tonight's low around 55 under cloudy
skies. Tomorrow we'll have a beautiful start, high of 70 around noon
time, with a 90% chance of rain and fiery sulfur tomorrow evening. Mort?
MORT: Still to come,
the mayor is caught having another affair. We'll have all the juicy
details and photos after this word.