Plugging In

By Gretchen Hall

CHARACTERS

Julie- young, in her twenties, obviously a little lost and confused

Madge- middle-aged greeter

        Madge is at center, wearing a nametag that says "greeter" and holding folders. Julie enters.

Julie: Excuse me...ma'am? I'm new...could you tell me where the Sunday School classes are held?

Madge: Hello! We're so glad you came to the First Church of God's Love. Here's a visitors packet; with a map of our buildings and photos of our pastors and a listing of all our ministries.

Julie: Ministries? What kind of ministries?

Madge: Well, we have the men's ministry division, and women's and youth and singles, and we have ministries to single mothers and retirees and cancer survivors and people who used to not be Christians and--

Julie: Really, I'm just looking for a Sunday School class. I just moved here, and I'm looking for fellowship.

Madge: Then you want the new to the area division. Are you a college student, or relocater or newly married or divorced?

Julie: Uh...I moved because of a job.

Madge: Were you promoted, demoted, fired, new job, or is this a lateral move in the company?

Julie: Um...I'm not sure. Why?

Madge: If you were promoted, you go to the Relocated Due To Promotion fellowship class. If it's a lateral move, you go to the Relocated But Not Promoted fellowship class.

Julie: What if I was fired?

Madge: That would be the Learn To Pray Like Jabez Class.

Julie: I see. Well, this is my first job, and I'm just out of college, so...

Madge: Married or single?

Julie: Single.

Madge: Looking?

Julie: No.

Madge: Then you belong in the Relocater-Young Adult-Single And Not Looking Class.

Julie: You're kidding.

Madge: The Lord's work is never a joke.

Julie: You know, I think maybe I'll just go to McDonald's this morning instead.

Madge: McDonald's? We have a class for that....