HEDONISM COMMERCIAL

By Jack & Gretchen Hall

Shot of a woman named Dana, walking along a beach. Cut to a close up on Dana.

DANA- Life is so short. And there's so much to experience.

Shot of Dana riding a bike through a park very fast, then a close up as she rides.

DANA- I want to go places, and I want to get there fast!

Dana sitting at a bar. From a distance, a guy gives her the "eye". She makes kiss lips at him, then looks at the camera.

DANA- I want to try new things, and I don't want anything to hold me back.

The morning after. Dana putting her shoes on at the edge of the strange man's bed. She picks up her purse, and starts pulling out drugs.

DANA- That's why I take the purple pill. And this red one. And the yellow one. And the green one if I'm really hung over.

Shot of Dana beating up an old lady and stealing her purse. She starts to run toward the

DANA- That's why I'm glad there's Hedonism!

Montage of shots plays during the voice over: Dana running down the street. Police cars with flashing lights. Dana dealing drugs in a back alley. Dana stealing a diamond from a vault. Dana holding a bleeding, shot friend in her arms as the friend dies. Dana in a shoot out, firing machine guns along side Columbian drug smugglers.

SPOKESPERSON- Hedonism is not a drug, but a lifestyle choice that allows you to live life however you see fit without the constraints of moral law. When used properly Hedonism can lead to a life of pure sin and self-indulgent pleasure. Side effects may include nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases, stab and gunshot wounds, jail time, moral guilt, loss of friends, loss of self-respect, death, and eternal damnation in the fiery depths of Hell. For a complete list of side effects, consult the Bible.

Dana sitting alone in a room with dirty shorts and a wife-beater tank top, her hair all mussed, her eyes bloodshot, drinking shots from a bottle. Superimpose the word "Hedonism" on the screen.

SPOKESPERSON- Hedonism...

DANA- I've never been happier... really.