The Holy Power of Dowel Rods

by Jack & Gretchen Hall

CHARACTERS

Pastor James- A drama leader

Little Timmy- A kid

Aaron- Moses’ brother

David- A shepherd boy

King Saul

A Money Changer

A sign on stage says "Drama Practice Tonite!" Pastor James is on stage. Little Timmy enters.

TIMMY- Hiya, Pastor James!

JAMES- Well, hello there, Little Timmy. What brings you out to church tonight?

TIMMY- What do you think? I want to be on the church drama team!

JAMES- Really? Why, that’s just wonderful. You know early on in your life, I could tell you had the gift.

TIMMY- You did?

JAMES- Sure. One day in the hall I saw you using a broomstick to play a Jedi knight. I knew then and there you had the right stuff.

TIMMY- Shiny!!

JAMES- Well, Timmy, if you want to be on the drama team, you only need three things.

James hands Timmy each item in turn.

JAMES- Here’s your accountability agreement. Here’s your script book. And here are your dowel rods.

TIMMY- Dowel rods?

JAMES- That’s right, the number one tools of the Christian dramatist.

TIMMY- Gee, Pastor James, no disrespect or nothin’… but I always thought the whole dowel rod thing was… well, kinda goofy.

JAMES- Goofy? Son, don’t you know about the inspirational power of dowel rods?

TIMMY- Does anybody?

JAMES- Why, it’s in the Bible! Dowel rods go back further than the New Testament, the Psalms, even the 10 Commandments.

TIMMY- Get outta town!

JAMES- I’m serious! It all began with Moses’ brother Aaron.

Aaron enters with a dowel rod.

JAMES- He used that dowel rod to perform miracles like turning the river to blood, and transforming it into a snake!

TIMMY- Aaron had a dowel rod? I thought it was a walking staff.

JAMES- That’s just what the King James says. But the newer translations agree, it was really a dowel rod.

TIMMY- If you say so!

JAMES- And guess who else had a dowel rod? A little shepherd boy named David.

David enters with a dowel rod.

TIMMY- But he killed Goliath with a sling!

JAMES- And he used the dowel rod to chase off wolves and bears that attacked his sheep.

TIMMY- With a dowel rod??

JAMES- Some scholars also believe King Saul had a dowel rod.

King Saul enters with a dowel rod spear.

TIMMY- He did?

JAMES- That’s right. When the spirit of the Lord left him for David, they say he then went around with a dowel rod up his big wazoo!

TIMMY- Wazoo?

JAMES- And you remember when he used to throw spears at David?

Saul throws the spear at David, who screams and runs away.

TIMMY- You mean?

JAMES- Yep, that spear was made from a dowel rod.

TIMMY- Imagine that.

JAMES- And let’s not forget the most FAMOUS dowel rod user of all time!

TIMMY- No way! Are you gonna tell me Jesus had a dowel rod?

JAMES- Of course! What do you think he used to run the money changers out of the temple?

A money changer runs across.

MONEY CHANGER- Run for your lives!! He’s got a dowel rod!

The money changer exits. Saul and Aaron also exit.

JAMES- Yes, Timmy, dowel rods are an important part of our Christian heritage. They’re easy, fun, and if you wrap them in the right tape they glow in the dark.

TIMMY- That’s all very interesting, Pastor James, but if it’s all the same to you, I’m gonna have to pass.

JAMES- Pass? But Timmy, why would you pass up a chance to be a part of this important worship tradition?

TIMMY- Because then I’d have to give up on another tradition… laughing at the idiots waving dowel rods around on stage!

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