Brothers Behind Bars

Dedicated to Tom DeLay, Ken Lay, and Bernie Ebbers,

Our dear brothers in Christ

By Jack & Gretchen Hall

CHARACTERS

Ernie Rogers- A former investment CEO

Rick Ellenpont- A former telecom CEO

Fred Henry- A former Senator

Other Christians "wrongfully accused" attending chapel

All the characters are in prison jumpsuits, either orange or black and white stripes. A few chairs are set up before a podium. Rick and Fred are talking together by the podium. Ernie stands near the back. Billy enters.

BILLY- Hi there. I'm here for the chapel service? The warden told me it was in here.

ERNIE- Well praise God, brother. Another lost lamb finds its way home. Welcome to church.

BILLY- Thank you. You know, you look kinda familiar.

ERNIE- Well, before I was incarcerated, I was the CEO of one of the world's biggest investment houses.

BILLY- Oh my goodness! You're that Rogers guy.

ERNIE- That's right, Ernie Rogers of McMasters and Warner.

BILLY- I remember watching them cart you out of your office in handcuffs. That must have been humiliating.

ERNIE- Water under the bridge, brother. And who might you be?

BILLY- Bill Hicks.

ERNIE- BIlly Hicks? THE Billy Hicks, the Terror of Topeka?

BILLY- Yes, well... I can't say I am proud of that legacy.

ERNIE- Well praise Jesus for you! I am so glad you came to join us in our little chapel. Rick! Fred! Come here a minute.

Rick and Fred walk over.

BILLY- Hey, isn't that...

RICK- Rick Ellenpont. Welcome, brother.

BILLY- Yeah! I remember you, the guy from the phone company. And you used to be a Senator.

FRED- Fred Henry, the junior Senator from the great state of Texas!

ERNIE- Fellas, this here is that Topeka Terror, Billy Hicks.

FRED- Well praise the Lord, it's so good to have you.

RICK- You're exactly the kind of man the Lord is seeking.

BILLY- I am?

RICK- Absolutely. Why it does this old man's heart good to see you come to know Jesus.

BILLY- Actually, I knew Jesus as a kid. But like you fellas, I strayed from the faith.

The CEO's and Senator exchange looks, and laugh.

FRED- Strayed? Who said we ever strayed?

BILLY- You did, didn't you? You took all that money from lobbyists under the table and evicted all those families in that land deal. And you cooked the books until you nearly collapsed the whole telecom industry! And you robbed the company's retirement fund and forced all those people--

ERNIE- Oh, little lost lamb, how deceived you were. We're not criminals like you.

BILLY- You're not?

ERNIE- The simple fact of the matter is we all have enemies.

RICK- That's right. I never did anything wrong, son. I took my share of the company profits, but I earned them!

ERNIE- As did I! True, there was some funny accounting going on, but I had no knowledge of any of it. I was as surprised as those poor retirees that their money was gone.

FRED- I was framed by a liberal conspiracy, led by CNN and the Democrats who were frightened because I represent mainstream America.

BILLY- I don't believe you.

RICK- Believe it, son. All of us here are baptized believers who were busy serving our churches and teaching Sunday School while our enemies plotted our demise.

FRED- But we all agree, one day we'll be exonerated, and we can get back to doing the Lord's work, fighting abortion!

RICK- Stem cell research!

ERNIE- Homosexuals!

FRED- And tax increases!

BILLY- Are you serious? Stem cells, abortion, do you really think those are God's greatest concerns for people like us?

RICK- Well, maybe not people like you. I think you could use a few sermons on murder and sexual battery.

BILLY- What about integrity? Morality? And greed? Don't you think you all could use a few sermons on that?

RICK/ERNIE/FRED- Why??

Billy shakes his head.

BILLY- Okay, you know what? I think I'm just gonna go back to my cell and read.

ERNIE- Billy, wait. You've come this far. Don't turn your back on God.

BILLY- I'm not. I'm turning my back on you.

ERNIE- But why?

RICK- Isn't it obvious? He doesn't feel like he belongs.

FRED- Aw, Billy. Don't be that way. We accept you, even if you are a murderer.

ERNIE- If you confess your sins, you're one of us.

BILLY- I confessed my sins, and that makes me a believer. But if you all can't confess yours, what are you?

Billy leaves.

RICK- So sad to see a young one gone wrong like that.

ERNIE- When I look at that young man, I see someone who needs prayer.

FRED- And a penal system that's less about rehabilitation and more about death penalty.

RICK/ERNIE- Amen!

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