Acts of God
by John Cosper
CHARACTERS
Clay- An
insurance adjuster
Meredith
and Roy- A married couple
Clay
enters with Meredith and Roy.
CLAY: Mr.
and Mrs. Klein, I want you to know I am truly sorry for your loss. It's not
easy losing a house. All those memories gone in a moment... it's terrible.
ROY: We
really appreciate your being here so quickly.
CLAY: Just
doing my job, Mr. Klein. At Providential Life, we believe in being there when
our clients need them. Now if you'll just sign here, please.
Roy
signs on the clipboard.
CLAY: And
you, Mrs. Klein.
Meredith
signs.
CLAY: Okay.
I'll head back to the office, fax this in, and you should receive your check
for five hundred dollars in about a week.
ROY: Hold
on a minute. Five hundred dollars? That's it?
CLAY: Well,
your policy limits liability up to four hundred, but I am pretty sure I
can squeeze an extra hundred out of them.
ROY: We
just lost our house. We have no clothes, no home, not possessions, nothing!
MEREDITH:
How are we supposed to rebuild our lives on five hundred dollars?
CLAY: Well,
you two are young and bright. You'll think of something.
ROY: This
is outrageous! We just lost a two hundred THOUSAND dollar asset! I expect a
little more than a measly five hundred dollars.
MEREDITH:
Isn't that what we bought insurance for?
CLAY: I'm
really sorry, folks, but your house was burned down in a fire caused by
lightning. And your policy specifically does not cover acts of God.
MEREDITH:
Acts of who?
CLAY: God.
You know, the big man upstairs? Makers of heaven and Earth? Savior of the
world?
ROY: What
are you talking about? Nobody believes in him any more!
CLAY: The
three thousand employees at Providential Life do. And where God has chosen to
smite, we have pledged not to interfere.
Clay
walks down center.
ROY: You
wacko! I'm gonna sue you for everything you've got!
MEREDITH:
We'll see to it you never sell insurance again!
Roy and
Meredith exit.
CLAY: This
message has been brought to you by the National Council for Insurance
Adjusters. You know, in this modern era, a lot of folks don't want to hear
about God. People have gone to great lengths to remove any reference to the Big
Man from our money, the pledge of allegiance, schools, court rooms, you name
it. It's a frustrating time to believe in the Almighty. But so long as floods,
storms, tornadoes, hurricanes, earthquakes, and other acts of God continue to
happen, we here at the National Council for Insurance Adjusters pledge to stand
by you, the church, in keeping the faith.
ROY: (off)
I'm gonna kill you!
CLAY: Thou
shalt not kill, sir! It's in your Bible!
Clay
starts to exit.
ROY: Bible?
What's a Bible?
Copyright 2009 by Righteous
Insanity